Are there any “holes” in your relationship?
If you’re like us–the answer is yes.
In fact, in many relationships there are usually quite a few “holes.”
“Holes” are those things in your relationships and life that you may know are there but it’s always a surprise when you fall into one. Things can be going along just fine and before you know it, you’ve fallen into one of those darn holes again.
The house we live in is over 130 years old and just like a lot of relationships, there are many “holes” in the nooks and crannies in the exterior of the house. At its core, we have a great home in a beautiful setting. But the fact is that we really haven’t paid a lot of attention to maintaining the house in the last several years and now the neglect is beginning to show. The home that was once beautiful is now in need of major repair.
Is this how your relationship is? We hope not.
The truth is that whether you’re talking about a house or a relationship, if there are any “holes” in them, they didn’t just show up overnight. They are there because you didn’t notice them and then fix them right away before they grew bigger.
Now, we could move to another house but it wouldn’t be long before problems would start showing up in our new house if we didn’t do a better job of maintaining it. Same way with your relationships.
What does it mean to plug up the “holes” in a relationship?
It means doing the things every day and even moment-to- moment that lead to a great relationship. One of those things is giving the relationship your attention. Many people get into a relationship and then put it on auto-pilot. Then months or years later, they wonder what happened.
If you haven’t planned a date together in a while, take some time right now and plan some type of get-away even if it’s just or an hour at your favorite restaurant or a walk in a park alone together. Make some time for the two of you to be together and to enjoy each other. Make a plan to talk every day about what really matters to the two of you. This can simply mean telling each other what you appreciate about the other person.
Another thing that we find helpful is what we call “killing the monsters in our relationships while they’re little.”
This means whenever something comes up between you and your partner, don’t let it linger and become an even bigger issue. In other words, tackle the monsters in the relationship when they’re small and they won’t grow up to be large enough to eat the city (or destroy your relationship.)
Fixing a relationship with holes may not be an overnight process but it can be done if both partners in the relationship are committed to making the relationship better and stronger.
Start plugging those holes today and you’ll see how your relationships will begin to change and grow.