Women's Issues Articles
 

What are You Worth?: Re-Conceptualizing the
Value of Being a Woman
By Amy Phillips-Gary

Do you ever feel like what you are, is just not enough?
Yes, you are busy just about every moment you are awake. It
might be caring for children, cleaning up the house,
engaging in your paid job, sharing with your lover or
taking some blissful moments to lounge on the couch with a
good book. But when it comes right down to it, how much do
you feel you are worth as a woman and a human being?

Just about every one of us is super busy doing something
all of the time. But does what you are doing-- or, more
importantly, who you inherently are-- feel valuable?

You could be a mom who labors unpaid at home or the CEO of
a successful company and still not feel like you are worth
much. In fact, this perceived hole in your reckoning of how
worthy you are may be behind many of the self-defeating
habits you struggle with whether they manifest as limiting
thoughts, addictions, illnesses or in other undesirable
ways.

What does it mean to be valuable?
I'm not just talking about financial worth here. No
matter how humble you are, you probably want to feel proud
of the contributions that you are uniquely making to your
world. Whether it's at the global, community, family, or
personal level, you may want confirmation that you are
making a positive difference. You possibly want to believe
that you will leave behind an inspiring legacy or a self-
fulfilled life's purpose. Or you may just wonder if your
contributions are causing any ripple at all.

The catch for many of us is that there are already in
place (and ingrained in our minds) benchmarks, signs or
statuses that claim to demonstrate our individual worth.
How much money you earn, the career you have, your
educational or family background, how you look-- all of
these are culturally sanctioned indicators of worth.

The drawbacks of these traditional indicators are almost
too many to mention. Not only do women in the U.S., on
average, still earn about 25% less than men, but what we do
with our spare time may also not make us feel all that
valuable. A study in the United Kingdom found that women--
including those in the paid labor force-- complete nearly 3
hours a day of housework compared with the 40 minutes a day
contributed by men. And this does not include time spent
caring for children or shopping. Having a clean bathroom
certainly makes life more pleasant but, really, is that all
there is?!

The point here is that if you base your sense of self-
worth on how much you earn, what you do with your spare
time, or even your job title, you're probably going to miss
the richness of you. And just because the statistics (and
perhaps your own experiences) indicate that men get paid
more money for their work and have more spare time, I am
not suggesting that they don't grapple with self-esteem
issues of their own. Yes, there are societal trends and
yes, many women do an awful lot of work that doesn't get
"counted" in gross domestic product tallies, but we are not
victims.

It's time to re-think worth and begin to notice how
valuable we each are in our varied ways. And I mean YOU
too!

"It's not what you do, but how you do it."
If you've ever attended a presentation offered by teacher
and motivational speaker James Arthur Ray, you've probably
heard (and been asked to repeat back) this phrase: "It's
not what you do, but how you do it." What a powerful way
to begin re-conceiving worth in your mind and life. When
the self-evaluation starts and you contemplate how
significant and valuable you are, remind yourself that it
truly does not come down to what you do, but it is actually
the way you do what you do.

When you shift your worthiness magnifying glass away from
how little or much you think your job title (or another
indicator) means and focus it on the way you carry yourself
through your day-to-day life, you'll likely come away with
a richer view of you.

Perhaps you "only" work part-time at a less prestigious
job so that you can be home when your kids leave for and
come home from school. Look again and, this time, honor the
loving and nurturing way you greet your children after
their long days in the classroom. Acknowledge to yourself
how you consistently give 100% to that so-called "side" job-
- no matter what the work entails.

When you stop judging your worth based on traditional
indicators of "what" and instead look at the "how," you may
realize that you want to do what you do with more aliveness
and umph-- after all, now you can see the worth that was
there all along.

What a powerful realization! You were worthy all along.
There's nothing to prove; you don't have to "catch up" when
your kids are grown, or you finally finish a degree, get
that promotion or whatever it is you are waiting for.
Right here, right now you are valuable. It's time to own it
and allow for your expansion into an even better you!
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Amy Phillips-Gary is a free-lance writer, homeschool mom and personal growth adventurer.





 

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