How to Stay Positive in the Midst of a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
By Amy Phillips-Gary

Have you ever had one of "those" kind of days? It seems that, from the moment you stepped out of bed, nothing went well. In the back of your mind you know that shifting your attitude and energy will help, but despite this knowing, you continue to wonder "How much worse can it get?"

In reply, the universe usually allows you to experience just that....

Perhaps, like me, you are reminded of the classic children's book by Judith Viorst in which the main character, Alexander, has a truly rotten day and it only seems to get worse. There are certainly days where I feel like I'm having a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

All I want to do in that moment is yell, cry or simply throw my hands up in the air in surrender to the seemingly downwardly spiraling present moment.

Learning how to pause as I start to spiral right along with my perceived lousy day is a valuable lesson. However, as anyone can attest, it can be quite a challenge to stop mid- meltdown and turn yourself in a different and more positive direction.

But it is possible. And the immediate improvement in how you feel can be astonishing!

I awoke this morning to a clogged drain, broken office chair and dog puke on my bed! That felt like a pretty irritating and even upsetting chain of events to start off my Monday morning. And as I focused more and more on the awful-ness of my day, it only got worse.

Perhaps one reason why "bad" things can quickly turn into a downward spiral that feels bottomless and never-ending is that they can produce feelings of powerlessness. Triggers looks different for every person, but a big one for many of
us is feeling like our world-- and even our own selves-- are out of our control.

The tree roots growing up into our home's drain can seem huge and insurmountable. "How can I do anything to compete with a giant maple tree?!" runs through my mind as I experience that sense of powerlessness.

Some people freeze in the face of feeling powerless. Others numb out and turn to food, alcohol, drugs or other activities. Still others aggressively try to force the
situation to obey their desires. While these responses may help the person cope with his or her out of control feelings, they almost always fail to allow the energy of the moment to shift. As a result, the situation often tends to worsen.

Step back.
A first vital move to make when you find yourself wondering "How could my day get any worse?" is to pause and take a symbolic step back. Too often, when I am in the middle of those intense emotions linked to a situation that feels out of my control I can only see that troublesome circumstance.

From where I sit in that bound up place, the clogged drain appears absolutely infested with tree roots and my mind conjures a huge plumbing bill and a dug up yard-- if I let it. While I might not literally divert the tree roots from my drain with my mind, I can change my thoughts and energy.


I can breathe deeply, drop down into my center, feel my feet on the floor and realize that I shift my response. Of course, I need to make a decision about how best to deal with the clogged drain, but it will be a more beneficial result when I'm making choices from a relaxed and open state. I might remind myself that the fearful thoughts I'm having are not the only possible future ahead.

There could very well be other ways to resolve this situation that feel more manageable. And even if my "worst" case scenario is the path I take, perhaps it won't feel "worst" case when I choose it from a place of feeling calm and even empowered.

The essential tip here is when you feel like your drain, your kids, your job, your relationship, your body, your life, your economy, or your world are out of your control or "can only get worse," you can decide to stop and re-focus.

Notice how you feel and ask yourself if this is the way you want to live your life. If not, pause and re-ground yourself. From a calmer and more centered place, almost any situation can seem less daunting or overwhelming.

Appreciate.
So when I stop my downwardly spiraling expectations about the clogged drain, does this mean that it will magically unclog? Maybe. Possibly not. As I get back in touch with my own sense of inner ease, I feel more empowered and the decisions I make for what to do next usually take me more quickly to a better-feeling place and outcome.

Sometimes my better-feeling place is only marginally improved. I may feel less powerless, but still annoyed to be having to deal with this inconvenience. But from this even marginal improvement, I can keep building toward happiness.

As the clog is put into perspective and I begin to feel a little better as I continue to shift my energy, I can see that there's a lot more going on in my life right now than
just this clogged drain. I literally and symbolically look up from the "trouble."

Yes, the drain still needs to be dealt with. But now I can also see that the sun is out. I
can taste the pleasant salty-sweetness of a snack. I can really feel the hug from one of my sons.

In fact, when I step back from what was once a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" it all seems less lousy. I start to appreciate more of what is going on within me and around me.

And this is the most powerful practice of all. When you can find even one thing to appreciate and feel good about in the midst of feeling horrible, you are on your way to what you want. It's as if you've uncovered a secret room filled with treasures that was there all along-- it was just waiting for you to open that door.

Of course, this isn't always easy. If you can practice appreciation and being on the lookout for what's going "right" in your life, it is far easier to do when you're faced with more intense challenges. Make lists, talk more with your friends about what you like and appreciate. Allow yourself to glory in those moments that simply feel delicious. All of these can help.

The next time you're having one of "those" days, remember how wonderful it was the last time you made a shift and pointed yourself in a more positive direction. Remind yourself of this power because we all have it.

It can be as simple as widening your gaze, opening the door, allowing yourself to see the treasure that was there all along.

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Amy Phillips-Gary is a free-lance writer, homeschool mom and personal growth adventurer.