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Self
Esteem Articles
Dare to be More
By Amy Phillips-Gary
"I dare you!"
These are the words sometimes used by kids to goad one another into
doing things that, usually, are scary or cross some boundary or violate
a rule.
It might be like those famous movie dares such as retrieving a ball from
the scary neighbor's yard or perhaps the ill-fated "triple dog dare"
that resulted in one kid's tongue sticking to the school's frozen
flagpole.
As you probably are well aware, dares like these can lead people to
choices that are harmful or just plain foolish.
But what if a dare helps you move beyond where you are and to a place
where you never dreamed you could go?
How many of us box ourselves in to the lives we've created thus far?
(I'm raising my hand right now along with you...)
It is almost epidemic the way many many of us erect imaginary "ceilings"
on our own capacity and then act as if we're helplessly trapped and
constricted.
What's your ceiling look like?
You might have created a ceiling on your ability to be in a passionate,
trusting and respect-filled love relationship.
Or you could have boxed yourself into a particular job. It may be that
because of your age or other factors you've put a limit on the
appearance, ability or health "realistically" possible for your physical
body.
Take some time and identify the ways in which you've constricted your
life. It could be that you've modeled the example of the adults who
surrounded you as you grew up.
Your father or mother may have seemed to plateau at a certain place
financially, for example, and that's the ceiling you adopted for
yourself as well.
Yes, of course, you want to live a more financially abundant life but
there's
something just a bit scary about transcending that invisible boundary
line you've always known.
The ceiling you've created for yourself may have made sense and been
very wise for you in the past.
If you experienced abuse, limiting yourself by staying out of the way
and being as invisible as possible was a very smart way to stay safe and
preserve your well-being as much as possible.
The boundaries we've set for ourselves are neither good nor bad.
It's important to keep yourself moving energetically by avoiding such
judging labels. At the same time, I encourage you to look at the
ceilings in your life and ask yourself if they are helping you go where
you want to go?
If you are having a difficult time figuring out what your ceiling looks
like, you're not alone. We become so accustomed to our habitual ways of
living that-- even if those ways hold us back-- we simply cannot see the
ceiling at times.
It simply is the way that it is. We resign ourselves to a life that
feels out of our control.
Whenever you find yourself yearning for something different, something
more, sit up and take notice. Your discomfort, dissatisfaction or
unhappiness are signaling you to take a deeper look.
Within those inner calls for something new is probably a self-created
boundary or
ceiling.
And when you recognize that you are feeling constricted and boxed in,
you are a step closer to freedom.
How can you remove the ceiling?
Here's where the dare comes in.
When you are aware of the ways in which you limit yourself, you have
choices to make. You can choose to stay where you are and allow those
limits to remain.
This is a choice you can make and there's nothing wrong or right about
it.
You can also decide that it's time to remove the ceiling and step out.
Granted, this can be a very scary decision to make!
When you dare yourself to apply for that grant, quit your job and go
back to school, ask an acquaintance out on a date or have that difficult
conversation with your partner, you are taking a risk.
This could be unknown territory and you cannot be assured of how it's
all going to work out.
It is up to you whether the risk of possibly moving closer to the dream
life you have for yourself is worth it. How comfortable are you with the
limits you currently struggle with?
Perhaps you are 100% sure that you want to take the dare and try
something new, yet that darn ceiling seems rigid and immovable. It might
feel like there's an unyielding obstacle between you and the future you
want for yourself.
The really wonderful news that you might not want to hear is that you
are 100% powerful.
No matter what your current situation is and what your past experience
was, you are ultimately the one who created the ceiling in your life and
you are the one who can dissolve it.
Be gentle with yourself as you grapple with your self-imposed
constriction. Keep reminding yourself of where you want to be and
continue to open up to the fact that you can get there.
Dismantle the beliefs that might be lending your ceiling strength and
rigidity.
For example, if you believe that you'll never be physically fit and
slim, make shifts in how you view your body and yourself.
When you walk, run or workout at the gym, revel in how wonderful it
feels to move and stretch and sweat. As you eat food, tune in to how
alive and vibrant you feel as you make a particular dietary choice.
Do whatever you can do to create room for expansion within your life.
Your ceiling may seem to come down all at once, but chances are it will
be a gradual process.
At some point, you might very well find yourself doing things that a
year, a month or even a week ago you wouldn't have thought possible.
So get clear about what you want and recognize the obstacles you've set
in your own way. Then step out and be more-- I dare you!
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Amy
Phillips-Gary is a freelance writer, homeschool mom and
personal growth adventurer.
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Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and
authors of 4 books on relationships and personal growth. To get their
FREE weekly newsletter filled with practical tips and ideas for creating
more connected, passionate and alive relationships send a blank message
to mailto:collins@aweber.com
or visit their web site at http://www.collinspartners.com
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