Self Improvement Articles

Focusing on Possibilities
By Susie and Otto Collins

Recently, we had another bat in our house. When we first came together and a bat would decide to make its appearance in the house, we would haul out the "bat tools" (which consisted of a tennis racquet and a shoe box) to try to get rid of it. The bat extraction always involved a lot of drama. 

Now when a bat gets lost in our house, we adopt a more humane and painless way of helping the bat find its way out. We turn on the outside light and open the door. Usually in just a few minutes the bat realizes that the door is open and it flies out. 

We feel that this change of attitude and approach to getting the bat out of our house can also apply to getting more love into your life.

Most people don't truly open their hearts to the people in their lives. They will let them in just so far before they put up defenses and walls.

One woman we know is trying to do it differently and open her heart to the possibilities of having the type of relationship that she has wanted but has somehow eluded her. She is starting a new relationship without expectations and is just focusing on being real, authentic and being true to herself. 

She's not playing any of the roles she's played in the past as she enters this relationship. There is a different feeling within her about this relationship because of it. She is letting go of some of her "rules" for how a partner "should" be and how relationships have been in the past for her. She is just allowing 
herself to open to the possibility of something wonderful 
happening.

One of the biggest reasons that people don't have great relationships is that they don't believe it's possible--that it happens to someone else and not them. Just like the lottery--it happens to someone else and not them.

We're here to tell you that "big" love is possible and
you can have it.

If you want to create outstanding relationships, spend your time wondering about possibilities instead of focusing on what you don't have and have never had in your life. That's what we did before we came together.

We both focused on the possibilities of having the love we've always wanted. And that's what we continue to do in our lives.

We know what we want--a deep, passionate, connected
relationship. When we feel disconnected and distant from each other, we've developed a strategy for re-establishing our connection. We spend 10 or 15 minutes looking deeply into each other's eyes. When we do that, we connect on the soul level and things flow once more between us.

Instead of allowing ourselves to be shut down and disconnected, we are focusing on the possibilities of opening to the connection between us once more.

No matter what is going on in your life and in your relationships, we suggest that you open to possibilities instead of shutting down in the face of fear. It isn't always easy to do in the moment but the rewards are enormous.

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Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors of 3 books on relationships and personal growth. To get their FREE weekly newsletter filled with practical tips and ideas for creating more connected, passionate and alive relationships send a blank message to mailto:collins@aweber.com 
or visit their web site at http://www.collinspartners.com 

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