Depression: How to Tell Sadness
from Depression

"How to Tell Sadness from Depression"
                       by Dave Turo-Shields  ACSW, LCSW 


You have and will experience sadness. It might be the loss 
of a job, pet or a loved one. Yes, even a loved one. The 
trouble is, particularly here in the United States, we have 
a quick-fix for everything... why not sadness too?

Our quick-fix for sadness is that it's simply not allowed. 
Healthy purging of sad feelings is great for you physically
and wonderful for your mental health. When you stuff the 
expression of healthy sadness it may lead to health 
problems, interpersonal issues and depression.

So, the first lesson is FEEL your sadness over whatever 
issue is at hand. It doesn't make you weak or less a man 
or woman to do so. Yes, I have to say "woman" today too, 
because women have also begun to place the same negative 
meaning on expressing feelings of sadness; so they hold 
back too.

There are Five Basic Stages you will go through with a 
significant change or loss in your life. They are:

1) Shock/Denial 
2) Anger 
3) Asking "What if..." questions 
or making "If only" statements. 
4) Sadness 
5) Acceptance

Please keep in mind several points about the five 
statements made above. First, each one is NORMAL! You may 
cycle through the steps several times and may not do so in 
the order listed above.

The only time these steps become a problem is when you 
become stuck at a particular step. Here's an example.

I met a woman about a year ago. She'd been married over 25 
years. She and her husband were planning on traveling 
after he retired. He died within a year of retirement from 
cancer. She came to see me three years after his death.

She had become stuck at step 3 above. She questioned, over 
and over again, whether she had done everything she could 
for him and all their family during those last days before 
his death. After about a year of ruminating minute-by- 
minute, she became quite seriously depressed. Then later, 
she was referred to me by her physician.

We worked through her questions from step 3. She then went 
through a normal period of being angry over the loss of her
husband and how that had changed her life and retirement 
plans. She felt appropriately sad about the loss of her 
best friend.

She's not terribly happy about working, but she's been 
working full-time now for about six months. She is hoping 
to begin dating. She's insecure about it. "It's been so 
long since I've dated!" She quips. But, she is on her way 
to a new life and her level of acceptance is growing each 
day.

Other times depression may set in from a traumatic event, 
or a series of negative life events that overlap and 
overwhelm your usual ability to cope. If this is you, you 
are often bewildered as to why you can't simply shake out 
of it as you normally would. Or if it was a trauma event, 
you will often find that simple security issues (e.g., 
walking out into a dark parking lot at night after 
shopping) will trigger panic and later deep depression. 
Sudden trauma threatens your sense of general safety in the 
world at large. 

If you are wondering if you have Major Depression here are 
some guidelines to help you to the correct answer. For the 
best possible solution please seek professional evaluation.

I offer professional consultation for individuals through 
email, making this step easy and convenient.

MAJOR DEPRESSION SYMPTOMS:

1) Depressed mood nearly every day. 
2) Diminished interest in regular activities. 
3) Significant weight loss or weight gain. 
4) Sleeping difficulties. 
5) A feeling of being "slowed down." 
6) Fatigue and energy loss nearly every day. 
7) Feeling worthless or excessive and inappropriate guilt. 
8) Difficulty in staying on task or making decisions. 
9) Frequent thoughts of death, including but not limited to 
suicidal thoughts.

Having a few of these symptoms does not necessarily qualify 
your for the diagnosis of Major Depression. You need to 
have at least five symptoms consistently over a two-week 
period of time or longer.

If you decide you have Major Depression please confirm this 
with a depression screen which you may find on my website 
at http://www.overcoming-depression.com/depression-symptom. 
html Additionally, please consult your family doctor and a 
trained professional who specializes in depressive 
disorders. A family doctor can assist in ruling out a 
possible medical condition and a therapist knows how to 
assist you in digging yourself out of that deep depression 
rut.

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Dave Turo-Shields is an author, university faculty member, 
success coach and veteran psychotherapist whose passion is 
guiding others to their own success in life. For weekly 
doses of the webs HOTTEST success tips, sign up for Dave's 
powerful “Feeling Great!” ezine at www.Overcoming- 
Depression.com 

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