Men's Articles
 

The Imminent Evolution of Men
By Ray Kadkhodaian, MA, CAC, LPC

Men today have come to a place where evolution is necessary
in order to resurrect the essential role that we play in our
species. Men have learned over the years that only two
extremes exist:

1) the animalistic, agressive male, or

2) the passive, indecisive, disempowered male

The emergence of character types such as the "metrosexual"
vs. the "player", not only confirms the quandry that the male
gender faces, but also urges us to break out of this "black or
white" construct and develop strong, positive and respectful traits
which men can aspire to obtain.

The "Marlboro Man" provided an icon in the 1950's and 1960's,
symbolizing personality characteristics which men could attempt
to incorporate into their own self identity. This icon provided a role
model for men of the time providing emotional, behavior and moralistic
standards which men could compare themselves to.

Today, the icons presented by the media emphasize physical
presentation more than personality or moralistic
representation. If personality is represented, it is
embodied by one of the two characteristics presented earlier
in this article. In addition, these two character types are
presented as complete personas that a man must take on, not
as separate or individual traits that a man may choose to
incorporate into their self definition or not. For example,
if a man chooses to be a "player", in order to be
emotionally sensitive he would have to contradict the
complete picture of this persona.

It appears that the concept that both personas struggle to define
and which men today are confused about, is the concept of
"strength" and "empowerment". The misconception is that if a
man is "strong", he must force another into a "disempowered"
position. The falacy is that if one person is "strong" or
"empowered", another must be the opposite. This
misconception is not surprising considering traits such as
competition, winning, aggressiveness and success all contain
elements of this dualistic polarity.

The fact is that if men are to evolve in today's society, we are to
embrace concepts which are not part of this continuum between
the disempowered male and the aggressive male. The challenge
is for males to create a role model which rises above the
limitations that the media presents us with and seek a
greater understanding of the importance of our gender. This
cannot be obtained by relying on the female gender to define
it for us. We must step up as a gender and assume an equal
and empowered position in our society. When the male gender
can embody traits such as strength, empowerment,
assertiveness, conviction, determination, dedication, self-
respect, humility, the ability to set appropriate and firm
boundaries, the desire to be honorable, and the courage to
be emotionally vulnerable, the evolution of man will be
complete.
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Ray Kadkhodaian is the President & CEO of The Lighthouse, an
emotional wellness and natural healing center located in
Arlington Heights, IL. He works with his wife helping
couples reinvent their marriages, and specifically works
with men assisting them in empowering their lives and
helping them make a positive impact in our world.

 

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Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors of 4 books on relationships and personal growth. To get their FREE weekly newsletter filled with practical tips and ideas for creating more connected, passionate and alive relationships send a blank message to mailto:collins@aweber.com 
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