Weight Loss Articles

 

Tips for Stopping Body Hatred
By Marion Bilich, Ph.D.

Imagine a statistic, "Seventy-five percent of all American
women feel short." That would sound ludicrous. We all know
that people come in all different heights-- some of us are
short, some of us tall, and most of us are in the average
range. We might wonder, "what made these women decide that
they were too short?" "What were they thinking?"

Now, consider this: Statistics actually do show that 75
percent of American women feel fat. We should be questioning
why this is so. Just as we all come in different body
heights, we all come in different body shapes and sizes. No
child is born hating her body. No baby looks down at her
body and cries, "Look at those thighs! They are so fat!" We
have all learned to hate our bodies. But, we can unlearn
this body hatred. We can learn to love our bodies again.
Following are 10 tips to help you regain your healthy body
love.

1. Stop dieting. Dieting perpetuates the notion that there
is something wrong with you that can be fixed by depriving
yourself of food. If dieting down to your "ideal" weight
worked, then we would only have to diet once to achieve our
goal. How many of us have dieted only once? Instead, we keep
dieting and gaining back the weight in a cycle that
demoralizes us.

2. Start listening to your body. Most of us don't trust our
body signals. We think our bodies are just itching to make
us fat. Yet, your body is endowed with a wonderful inner
wisdom that can tell you when, what and how much food it
needs. You just have to learn to read those signals. (I
teach you how to listen to those body signals in my book,
Weight Loss From the Inside Out: Help for the Compulsive
Eater).

3. Throw out the scales. Many of us have become slaves to
the scale. We tend to judge ourselves by a number, deciding
what kind of day we will have based on that number. Provided
that there is no medical reason for you to weigh yourself
regularly, you will do best if you stop weighing yourself
altogether, and let your body find its own natural weight.

4. Find something positive to say about your body. No matter
how much we hate our bodies, we can always find something
positive to say about ourselves. It may take a while, and
you may have to think a bit, but I'm sure you can come up
with something you like-- your eyelashes, your earlobes, your
fingernails. You may even focus on how well a body part
functions, " I admire how my legs can carry my body through
the day" or "My arms are strong."

5. Notice how often you have negative thoughts and feelings
about your body. .You will probably be surprised (and
horrified) to discover how many times a day (or an hour) you
have negative thoughts about your body. No wonder so many
women feel depressed. Anyone would get depressed hearing a
barrage of negative statements hundreds of times a day.
These negative thoughts and feelings not only depress us,
but they make us feel judged and unacceptable. Think about
this: Would you ever say the horrible things you say to
yourself to another person?

6. Every time you notice a negative thought of feeling about
your body, ask yourself what is really bothering you. Many
women translate negative feelings and thoughts into "I feel
fat" thoughts. For instance, you might feel overwhelmed and
out of control of your life on a particularly trying day,
but instead of feeling overwhelmed, you might translate that
thought into a negative body statement: "I am so out of
control of my food. I feel so fat today." Next time you
notice a negative self-statement about your body, ask
yourself, "Is something else bothering me?"

7. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Every time
you become aware of negative self-thoughts and feelings
about your body, remind yourself of something positive. For
example, if you notice yourself hating your stomach, you
might add "but I like the way my hair looks today."
Counteracting the negative statements with positive ones
helps balance your self -image, so that you are not just
focusing on what you consider wrong with yourself.

8. Practice looking at yourself in the mirror daily. Most of
the women with whom I work hate this one at first. I ask
them to look at themselves naked in a full-length mirror-- to
look without judgment-- just look. It is important to accept
your body as it is, in its entirety. Bodies come in all
shapes and sizes. Learn about yours.

9. Look through women's magazines. Look through the
magazines, not with a focus on the content of the articles,
but rather to learn what these articles and ads teach you
about your body. You may be surprised to discover how
negative the statements are. No wonder women learn to hate
their bodies. We are told that we are too fat or flabby;
that our skin is too pale or blotchy; that we have too much
body hair, or not enough; that certain body parts should be
made to look bigger or smaller; and on and on. Nothing about
our bodies is okay. Of course, the aim of such negative
statements is to encourage us to buy products to correct
these "flaws." Try this exercise and your eyes will be
opened!

10. Have patience. Change in body image does not happen
overnight. It took years of negative messages from the
culture, the media, your peers, and perhaps your family to
create your body hatred. It will take a while to unlearn
these negative messages. In the meantime, read all you can
about the non-diet approach and about changing body image.
Talk to other women. Join a support group. In time, you will
notice changes in your view of your body. In time, you will
learn to love your body again.
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Marion Bilich, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist
practicing in Hewlett, NY. Dr. Bilich specializes in weight
control. Her book Weight Control From the Inside Out is
available at Selfhelpbooks.com.

 

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