What are You Worth?: Re-Conceptualizing the Value of Being a Woman
By Amy Phillips-Gary

Do you ever feel like what you are, is just not enough? Yes, you are busy just about every moment you are awake. It might be caring for children, cleaning up the house, engaging in your paid job, sharing with your lover or taking some blissful moments to lounge on the couch with a good book. But when it comes right down to it, how much do you feel you are worth as a woman and a human being?

Just about every one of us is super busy doing something all of the time. But does what you are doing-- or, more importantly, who you inherently are-- feel valuable?

You could be a mom who labors unpaid at home or the CEO of a successful company and still not feel like you are worth much. In fact, this perceived hole in your reckoning of how worthy you are may be behind many of the self-defeating habits you struggle with whether they manifest as limiting thoughts, addictions, illnesses or in other undesirable ways.

What does it mean to be valuable?
I'm not just talking about financial worth here. No matter how humble you are, you probably want to feel proud of the contributions that you are uniquely making to your world. Whether it's at the global, community, family, or personal level, you may want confirmation that you are making a positive difference.

You possibly want to believe
that you will leave behind an inspiring legacy or a self- fulfilled life's purpose. Or you may just wonder if your contributions are causing any ripple at all.

The catch for many of us is that there are already in place (and ingrained in our minds) benchmarks, signs or statuses that claim to demonstrate our individual worth. How much money you earn, the career you have, your educational or family background, how you look-- all of these are culturally sanctioned indicators of worth.

The drawbacks of these traditional indicators are almost too many to mention. Not only do women in the U.S., on average, still earn about 25% less than men, but what we do with our spare time may also not make us feel all that valuable.

A study in the United Kingdom found that women--
including those in the paid labor force-- complete nearly 3 hours a day of housework compared with the 40 minutes a day contributed by men. And this does not include time spent caring for children or shopping. Having a clean bathroom certainly makes life more pleasant but, really, is that all there is?!

The point here is that if you base your sense of self- worth on how much you earn, what you do with your spare time, or even your job title, you're probably going to miss the richness of you. And just because the statistics (and perhaps your own experiences) indicate that men get paid more money for their work and have more spare time, I am not suggesting that they don't grapple with self-esteem issues of their own.

Yes, there are societal trends and yes, many women do an awful lot of work that doesn't get "counted" in gross domestic product tallies, but we are not victims.

It's time to re-think worth and begin to notice how valuable we each are in our varied ways. And I mean YOU too!

"It's not what you do, but how you do it."
If you've ever attended a presentation offered by teacher and motivational speaker James Arthur Ray, you've probably heard (and been asked to repeat back) this phrase: "It's not what you do, but how you do it."

What a powerful way to begin re-conceiving worth in your mind and life. When the self-evaluation starts and you contemplate how significant and valuable you are, remind yourself that it truly does not come down to what you do, but it is actually the way you do what you do.

When you shift your worthiness magnifying glass away from how little or much you think your job title (or another indicator) means and focus it on the way you carry yourself through your day-to-day life, you'll likely come away with a richer view of you.

Perhaps you "only" work part-time at a less prestigious job so that you can be home when your kids leave for and come home from school. Look again and, this time, honor the loving and nurturing way you greet your children after their long days in the classroom.

Acknowledge to yourself how you consistently give 100% to that so-called "side" job- - no matter what the work entails. When you stop judging your worth based on traditional indicators of "what" and instead look at the "how," you may realize that you want to do what you do with more aliveness and umph-- after all, now you can see the worth that was there all along.

What a powerful realization! You were worthy all along. There's nothing to prove; you don't have to "catch up" when your kids are grown, or you finally finish a degree, get that promotion or whatever it is you are waiting for.

Right here, right now you are valuable. It's time to own it and allow for your expansion into an even better you!
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Amy Phillips-Gary is a free-lance writer, homeschool mom and personal growth adventurer.