Open up to Spiritual Abundance by Making Peace with Receiving
By Amy Phillips-Gary

It seems to me that receiving has been given a bad rap.

The Christian bible counsels that it is "better to give than to receive." Here in the U.S., working hard and sacrificing are entrenched ethics. Celebrated President John F. Kennedy rallied the country with the phrase, "Ask not what your country can do for you-- ask what you can do for your country." These are just a few examples of a generally shared cultural standard elevating giving and discounting receiving.

These time-honored and revered beliefs valuing giving over receiving are potentially helpful and wise in the contexts they are offered. But does this skew toward giving have a downside? I think that it does.

I believe that when you close yourself to receiving the abundant gifts of life, you close yourself to living as fully as you can. You also close yourself to being able to give as freely as you might otherwise be able to. And you close yourself to the abundance-- spiritual and material-- both within you and streaming through all beings, including the universe itself which we are all a part of.

Am I merely trying to justify my desire for a new car or an expensive sweater with these assertions? Perhaps, but I don't really think so.

What's your relationship with receiving?
When you can fully embrace both giving and receiving, you are essentially at ease with the flow of life and Source. You give with your heart wide open-not because you "should" give or it's your "duty" to give, but because you are inspired to give. In the same way, you receive with your heart wide open-- you are uplifted and filled with appreciation for the many gifts available to you.

In the December 2008 edition of Ode magazine, author Hilary Hart writes about receiving and the tendencies that many of us have when it comes to gifts. She points out that some of us feel that if we didn't work hard (or hard enough) for what is given to us, something is wrong.

Others feel-- perhaps unconsciously-- that to receive is to be weak and in need of assistance from one more powerful. There can even be an element of powerlessness perceived when a gift is received.

When you unwrap a gift during the holidays or on your birthday you may not be aware of these feelings or beliefs, but when you explore your relationship with receiving at a deeper level, see what becomes clear for you. Begin to notice where you close down and the aftereffects of that closing.

Can you embrace your choice to receive?
Receiving and giving are both choices to make. It might be a hideous lamp from your great aunt or tickets to see your favorite musician in concert from your love. Irregardless, when you accept a gift, you are choosing to receive. You can also choose your focus in the receiving. It is the thought and the energy and love behind the gift that truly "count" as another saying goes.

When you remember that you always have choice, you can feel empowered as you make decisions about how you will give and how you will receive in each moment. If there is an unconscious tendency to link inferiority or powerlessness with receiving, it's time to recognize that and decide if that belief serves you.

As is pointed out in Hart's article, are you willing to miss out on all that's available to you just because you are afraid to give up your hold on control?

It does very often feel good to give and that is truly part of the ease and flow of life. But when you feel like you can only allow yourself to give, it is just as limiting as if you would only allow yourself to receive. Though it can be pointed out that the joys of giving from the heart can be just as enriching to the giver as to the receiver.

So it all does come down to receiving in the end!

What are the gifts you are ready to receive?
Every single time you open yourself up to receiving, you open yourself up to life, to Spirit, to Source. Resist the urge to elevate certain gifts over others.

You can be touched by a non-material gift of kindness but you can also be touched and feel spiritually enriched by that expensive sweater a loved one purchases for you. Again, it's all about ease and flow.

Look around you and recognize the many many gifts being offered to you at any moment in time. You probably can't even count them all if you truly open your senses. See what happens when you choose to allow and take part in the gifts available to you and watch as your heart and spirit soar!
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Amy Phillips-Gary is a free-lance writer, homeschool mom and personal growth adventurer.